Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
try to milk me bitch
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
