How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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