it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
