# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
