In the future we'll all be gay
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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