you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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