i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
