We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ladies don't puke and tell
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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