I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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