i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
the raccoons are back...
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