I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
