Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
