i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
