you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
