Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
