I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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