we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
