My balls are so social today.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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