i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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