I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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