I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Acid is not a monday night drug
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
