drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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