i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
