i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
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whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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