She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I will be naked everywhere
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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