When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
