Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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