it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.