I will die if light touches me.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car