New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
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Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it