This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting