Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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