I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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