Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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