haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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