how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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