I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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