can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
