when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
