Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize