i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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