Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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