Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
