I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
