so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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