I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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