why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
