as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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