Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

Fav 1 2413 1562
share tweet
(619): View more from California

I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.

(1-619): View more from California

You literally just made my flesh crawl.

Fav 32 2332 1395
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.

Fav 5 2785 965
share tweet
(970): View more from Colorado

found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.

Fav 1 2250 995
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.

Fav 4 1053 2018
share tweet
(647): View more from Ontario

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Fav 3 2025 1021
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.

Fav 4 2228 1535
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(616): View more from Michigan

She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

Fav 4 604 863
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax

Fav 2 38 91
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT