Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time

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  (248): I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time http://tfl.nu/04o8
  Replies (7) Good night (966) Bad night (3348)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?

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  (505): When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward? http://tfl.nu/82ih
  Replies (15) Good night (595) Bad night (3813)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.

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  (810): just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe. http://tfl.nu/ayww
  Replies (11) Good night (5187) Bad night (506)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.

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  (502): She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor. http://tfl.nu/3ap9
  Replies (10) Good night (4864) Bad night (1497)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.

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  (512): apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/xowh
  Replies (13) Good night (1437) Bad night (4144)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

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  (806): What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head??? http://tfl.nu/gwk9
  Replies (30) Good night (4598) Bad night (1472)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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  (443): I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch? http://tfl.nu/v0c3
  Replies (17) Good night (4440) Bad night (807)
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  (805): View more from California

  You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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  (805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1680) Bad night (3496)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

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  (832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1
  Replies (15) Good night (1590) Bad night (4279)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.

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  (713): On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day. http://tfl.nu/dyk5
  Replies (11) Good night (981) Bad night (1685)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.

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  (609): One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste. http://tfl.nu/4m50
  Replies (10) Good night (1022) Bad night (599)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.

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  (210): the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body. http://tfl.nu/1j67
  Replies (6) Good night (1754) Bad night (447)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

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  (603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp
  Replies (4) Good night (336) Bad night (741)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'd cum for enchiladas.

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  (850): I'd cum for enchiladas. http://tfl.nu/lnb5
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (251)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face

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  (712): when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face http://tfl.nu/ax1i
  Replies (7) Good night (1129) Bad night (300)

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