i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.