Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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(201): now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone http://tfl.nu/mcch

Replies (19) Good night (743) Bad night (4150)
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(954): View more from Florida

Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...

(1-954): View more from Florida

Is this the gay conversation?

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(954): Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me... (1-954): Is this the gay conversation? http://tfl.nu/4777

Replies (3) Good night (1056) Bad night (1910)
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(845): View more from New York

she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.

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(845): she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits. http://tfl.nu/cebt

Replies (18) Good night (1084) Bad night (5918)
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(714): View more from California

I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.

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(714): I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor. http://tfl.nu/i3nt

Replies (5) Good night (1029) Bad night (3427)
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(817): View more from Texas

He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

(1-817): View more from Texas

Actually, she's fat now, so...

(817): View more from Texas

Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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(817): He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but... (1-817): Actually, she's fat now, so... (817): Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson. http://tfl.nu/7993

Replies (27) Good night (2026) Bad night (5155)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.

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(717): thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape. http://tfl.nu/7lpf

Replies (8) Good night (3894) Bad night (1008)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.

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(417): Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there. http://tfl.nu/jea6

Replies (8) Good night (3544) Bad night (1335)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.

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(717): the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home. http://tfl.nu/v69g

Replies (5) Good night (1676) Bad night (594)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.

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(848): Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work. http://tfl.nu/02os

Replies (9) Good night (2444) Bad night (1208)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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(615): I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls. (1-615): Who in tha hell do u hang out with? http://tfl.nu/cxra

Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (674)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...

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(615): He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing... http://tfl.nu/wirp

Replies (13) Good night (533) Bad night (2052)
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(712): View more from Iowa

This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b

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(712): This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b http://tfl.nu/chgx

Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (1015)
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(513): View more from Ohio

You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.

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(513): You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when. http://tfl.nu/o3c9

Replies (6) Good night (1388) Bad night (384)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange

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(417): Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange http://tfl.nu/684a

Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (268)
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(214): View more from Texas

So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.

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(214): So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot. http://tfl.nu/cnna

Replies (1) Good night (211) Bad night (499)

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