I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
