True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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