there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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