If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Randomize
