Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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