my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
