That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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