shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize