Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
