Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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