Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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