brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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