take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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