I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
