just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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