whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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