im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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