Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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